This picture is from the first day of my Discipleship Training School. Not the greatest photo in the world, but honestly, this was the day my life really began.
I would look back at this picture and see how much I changed.
You see me smiling in this picture, but I was terrified. I was depressed and anxious. I felt so uncomfortable. People accepted me for who I was when I didn't even know them. They didn't know my story. I had messed up, but they welcomed me anyway.
I would wake up and have my first quiet time at YWAM Tyler. I would go to my first class and hear fresh revelation. I would learn to pray before everything, which I thought was weird at first. I would rise. I would be strong. I would cry.
I would begin opening up and trusting people for the first time in years. I would feel okay. I would feel safe. I would go to the prayer chapel, sit in front of the map and wonder where the Lord would lead me. I would fall more and more in love with Jesus and His story.
I would begin working to finish the Great Commission. I would laugh so hard.
I would walk into the wonder of who Jesus is. I would get lost in His mystery. I started gaining authority. I started healing. I started feeling the cracks in my heart mend.
Prayers and words of encouragement were spoken over me. I would overcome my sadness.
One day in class, the teacher said, "God doesn't want to keep us from having fun." Those simple words changed the course of my life. I lived a sullen, sad life, never finding joy that lasted. I understood that God wanted me to have fun and have a good life. He wants me to be happy!
I would see victory. I would see men and women fall on their faces in the presence of the Lord worshipping Him. I started leading worship for those around me. I prayed over others. I saw Jesus keep His promises.
I wrote this blog the night I graduated DTS, having no idea what was coming my way.
I was back at YWAM Tyler a month later to begin the School of Evangelism. Over the course of five months, God started to speak more to me about walking hand in hand with Jesus. I experienced the love and intimacy of God through teachings based on a biblical overview of missions, the bloodline of Jesus, the mission of the gospel, and so much more.
I began understanding the vision that the Lord had been cultivating in my heart. Honestly, I think I underwent more change in my SOE than I did in my DTS. I had the tools in hand, a firm foundation of relationship with Him, and now I could put my faith into practice.
The Lord called me back on staff at YWAM Tyler. He is leading me into a season of fighting for what He wants. As a part of Gen Z, I have a burden for others my age who are lost and searching for the deeper meaning of life. I know they won't find it in New Age religion, crystals, or magic. I want to help them see God, and it is a fight.
Ephesians 6:12 - “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
Now, I am thriving as a full-time missionary at YWAM Tyler! I work in our Student Communications Department where I contact people who are interested in doing a Discipleship Training School. I share my own story of DTS, encourage people, and build relationship before their DTS even starts.
So many, just like Emma, have taken 5 months to get to know God and discover their purpose. You can too. Just take a leap of faith and say "YES" to following after Jesus.