Do you remember the day Jesus became real to you?
When I hear the lyrics to "When You Walk Into The Room" play anywhere, my mind immediately goes back to Camp Jackson's sanctuary. This church camp holds a great deal of significance in my life with Jesus.
When my mind wanders back in time, I reflect on the sweet moment I had there where God met me in my lowest place and called me worthy. Even now, my words can't express how His nearness made me feel. From that day forward, I knew without a doubt that God was real!
Eight years have passed, and I thank God for reminding me of where I started. That night at camp I realized my life had value and nothing in this whole world will change that. Though I have wavered through many highs and lows, God captivated my heart with His unfailing love.
I will always cling to this piece of my history, especially when life hits hard and hopelessness rises up against my identity and a promised future. Regardless of how many times I've stumbled, God's grace encourages me to not walk away even when I am confused.
I have changed since Jesus saved me. Over the years I became super involved in my church and participated in every event possible. I even attended ministry school for three years trying to get closer to Him. But the efforts I made to live righteously crumbled, leaving me feeling empty and crushed with discouragement. Bitterness blinded my view of who God was.
Fortunately, emotions don't frighten God. He pursued me despite my skeptical heart posture toward Him. He graciously sought me out during a week of teaching on lordship here at YWAM Tyler. Throughout that week of teaching and processing the truth in prayer, God started uprooting the lies one by one so I could freely rediscover His authenticity. I could see how I didn't want to surrender to Him. What a hard pill to swallow! Nevertheless, I could only thank the Lord for setting off this lightbulb of revelation.
Here is what I've learned⏤any believer can know, love, and do things for God. But if you can't surrender to His Lordship you will constantly be wrestling with life and only have a surface level relationship with Him. You were made to go deep knowing the riches of His love for you. Don't let the enemy convince you otherwise.
If you struggle to be the "perfect christian" like I did, let me put your mind at ease and say no such person exists. Unless it's Jesus of course. Just strive to align with God's heart and always be mindful to pursue a right relationship with Him. If you do, everything you've been searching for will fall into place. If your heart's desire is an expectation for perfection, you will fail.
The book of Matthew exclaims, "If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?"
Above all else drown out the world's opinion. You were designed to seek more in life, and your freedom is found on the other side of surrender.
God will never abandon you!
Go all in with God and I promise, you will see His goodness in the land of the living.