First Steps to Breaking a Porn Addiction
I am sharing my story to encourage others who may be entangled in this web of deception. There is hope and a sure path to freedom.
I’m sure you’ve all heard of a pastor being fired after being caught in sexual sin. Or casually heard from the pulpit that sexual sin is a problem in the church, but I bet you don't really know how widespread this problem is?
I know how deep it went in my own life. My struggle was with an addiction that is in the church at an unthinkable level.
68% of church-going men and over 50% of pastors view porn on a regular basis. Of young Christian adults 18-24 years old, 76% actively search for porn.
- Barna Group Survey, 2016
If that doesn’t open your eyes, I don’t know what will.
76% of 18-24 year olds are actively viewing porn!
I was part of that disturbing statistic. I know first hand how real this issue is in the church.
We desire to see men rise up in the church and fulfill the important role God has called them to, but the enemy has a grip on many men in this area.
Please hear this next statement: If you are currently trapped in sexual sin I want you to do one thing…take a breath. THERE IS HOPE!
11 is the average age that a child is first exposed to porn, and 94% of children will see porn by the age of 14. 😱
This statistic is true for me!
[Watch this heartfelt interview with Eric]
Get a personalized plan to overcome your porn addiction. Simple email Eric. This could be the break you've been looking for.
When I was in 6th grade I was exposed to porn for the first time. I wish I could say it was a one time thing and I never did it again, but I can’t.
One time turned into multiple times and multiple times turned into everyday. I grew up in a Christian home and had accepted Christ as my savior at a young age. So, of course I knew what I was doing was totally wrong but I couldn’t seem to shake it.
Other sin that I had struggled with before was easy to repent of and change. But this sin was different. It had a hold on me like nothing else I had dealt with. I had no clue how to battle it.
Trying harder didn't work. I asked God to take the desire away, but He asked me to “renew my mind.” I had no clue how to do that. I never thought I was hurting anyone by looking at some women on a screen, but I realized the major damage I did during the early years of my marriage.
At times intimacy with my wife wasn’t as exciting as what I was watching on the screen. I began to compare her to those women.
My mind was completely messed up, my view of women was completely messed up and I was walking in zero authority as a man of God. This is Satan's master plan in men's lives and if he had his way my marriage would have been destroyed!
I was 24 when I realized the major effects pornography had on me, and so many other men. I stumbled upon a men's purity conference at a local church that completely opened my eyes to the destruction in my life. What I learned equipped me and a couple of close friends to begin to “renew our minds.”
We started by using the tactics we learned, and let me tell you it wasn’t easy. There were a lot of ups and downs but, by the power of the Holy Spirit and a lot of obedience, we are all able to say we are walking in freedom from this sexual sin.
I praise God for those men that walked with me over those years of recovery. Satan had a death grip on me for 15 years, until I truly knew what God meant in Romans 12:2. Transformation occurred as I changed the way I thought. I currently have been walking in freedom for three and half years and my marriage and relationship with God has never been better.
If you are currently struggling in this area, THIS CAN BE YOUR STORY. There is freedom in Christ and by the power of the Holy Spirit. You can overcome this sin. LISTEN CLOSELY. My family and I did a Discipleship Training School at YWAM Tyler, Texas in 2019. I realized during it that DTS is a place God WILL use to renew your mind and set you on the path to freedom from sexual sin. Here are three reasons why:
Grow Closer to God
Doing a DTS is all about “Knowing God.” During this school you will begin to understand the Father Heart of God for you and the world. You will learn how to hear God’s voice. Yes, God speaks!
Sometimes audibly, but usually just a simple impression on our hearts. And one of my biggest takeaways from DTS was learning how to read the Bible and spend time with God daily.
Identify Our Hurts
We all have hurts in our lives. Maybe someone physically hurt you, or you went through a divorce or mental and verbal abuse etc., the list can go on and on. A lot of times we don’t deal with those hurts in a healthy way, and they can cause us to view people or even God badly as a result.
We can even hold onto major bitterness or unforgiveness towards someone for something they did to us.
During a DTS you will spend time talking through and identifying hurts in your life that you didn’t even realize you had. Once I realized mine, God began to heal me. I had simply used porn to medicate my pain.
Accountability
One of the most powerful weapons we have against the enemy, especially when it comes to sexual sin, is accountability. Having a couple of people who love and care for you even knowing about “your junk” is so freeing!
During DTS you will be assigned a “1 on 1”. This is a person of your gender that will meet with you weekly to talk through life, pray with you and be able to ask you those tough questions in order for you to begin to walk in freedom.
They don’t do it because they have to, they do it because they love you and want you to grow in your walk with God. “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12
I want you to listen to your heart right now. Sometimes its very easy to say⏤there’s no way I can drop everything for 5 months and do a school like this.
I thought the same thing and I had a family of 4 to bring along. My mind said, No but God said GO! Listen to God on this one and if He is saying GO, He will provide the way!
DTS isn’t only for people that are addicted to porn. It is for anyone that wants to take a giant leap in your relationship with God. I challenge you, sit down, listen…is He saying GO?
Email me: eric.melvin@ywamtyler.org and I'll help you develop a personalized plan to overcome porn.
RESCOURCES:
Pure Desire Ministries - Find a Support Group
Conquer Series - A sexual addiction screening test to help yourself identify where you are. Allow the Holy Spirit to use this test to show you where you are in a positive way not a condemning way.
How to Overcome Porn Addiction and Restore Relationships - Focus on the Family
