If you're lacking confidence, than this story is for you! Taylor shares about her experience during a training school at YWAM Tyler that changed her life and boosted her confidence.
I can’t believe how fast these five months of my School of Worship (SOW) at YWAM Tyler have gone by and how many things transpired during these months. Thinking back to the very first week when I was weeping in the back of the classroom while that microphone was staring at me from the middle of the room, it felt like miles walking up to it and like rocks were in my throat when I tried to sing. I didn’t realize then that I was stepping onto a moving sidewalk that would propel me into confidence.
Confidence in what I have to say, in who I am, and in who God is.
Confidence that isn’t fake.
Confidence that isn't found in knowing that I won’t fail but from knowing that God never will.
During these past five months in the SOW, I’ve been pushed outside of my comfort zone. Something that I have discovered while on this moving sidewalk is that comfort zones are often the enemy of growth. Courage truly isn’t the absence of fear, but it's feeling that fear and stepping out anyway.
The main verse for the School of Worship at YWAM Tyler is Psalm 33:3 “Sing a new song, play skillfully, and shout for joy.” We have written new songs. We have learned to play and sing skillfully, and now moving forward, we can confidently shout for joy. There's joy in knowing that He really is enduringly faithful.
For me, during this school, it came back to this basic question: “Do I actually trust God?” It was challenging at times but also very refreshing! An illustration one of the teachers, Kip Gaines, gave in the school has really stuck with me. He gave a beautiful picture of us at our wedding with Jesus, and God the Father was the officiant. When it came time in the ceremony to exchange symbols of our love and commitment to this covenant, Jesus simply held out His hands and showed where the nails had pierced Him. He said, “I gave my life so I could be with you.”
Then God the Father looked at us and asked if we had something to give. I remember in that moment the feeling of total empty-handedness. Knowing that there was nothing I could give to Him that would equal what He had done for me. Kip then simply reminded us that our trust is the only thing we can truly give from ourselves. Our gifts and talents that we use for Him were given to us by Him, but our trust comes from our own free will decision. He gave us every reason and reassurance that we can indeed trust Him. We can look to the future with uncertainty and confidence at the same time, knowing that He truly does have our best interest at heart.
Our trust comes from our own free will decision!
I want to ask if you truly trust God? Not with a feeling, but with a decision. For me I can finally say YES, I do. I trust that God has good intentions for me, for my family, and for my future. I used to get a little annoyed when Josh (the SOW director) was constantly asking, “Why not do School of Worship?” But I think I understand a little more now. This school has given me exponentially more than I thought it would. A newfound trust in God, confidence, a better work-ethic, courage, and a greater understanding of what it means to be a worshipper, a leader, and a worship leader.
Guest Author ~ Taylor Murphy. Taylor and her husband, Johnny, staff training schools at YWAM Tyler. We are blessed to have them both as part of our community.
Come to YWAM Tyler for a Discipleship Training School. Then stay on and do a School of Worship with us too. Your walk with Jesus will be strengthened in countless of ways that'll forever impact your life.
