I knew miracles happened, but I didn't think one could happen in my life.
Welcome to the story that has changed my life. I had no idea that my quiet time would end up saving me from an anxiety attack. Yeah. You read that right. I had the most incredible quiet time that Thursday morning. I spent time reading my Bible {YAY, I am reading the entire Bible this year!} and then began journaling and praying. The Lord began showing me things about anxiety and trust that I had never really realized before.
Where there is complete trust, anxiety can't even begin to take root. When you trust someone completely - why ever would you all of a sudden have anxiety about something in your relationship? It doesn't even make sense to trust and at the same time still be sitting over here MIStrusting!
I knew, I trusted God. But did I really? I've been dealing with anxiety in the last few weeks. It's hard to overcome. It's hard to live with. It's hard to be positive. Anxiety just shoves trust out of the door. It crowds your mind and heart and chains you to the ground of worry.
My mind was blown. What? No wonder I was starting to have crazy doubt issues about what my next step was. Doubt seized the opportunity and was like.... "Oooooh! Lets move in! Anxiety cleared out trust! This is awesome!"
UH. NO THANK YOU. Who wants doubt and anxiety to move in? NOOOOT ME. You? No? I thought so!
So, what about my mind? Doubt and anxiety are so closely tied together - with my mind going from one to the other.... How do I overcome it? Then I read Psalm 34:8 - "O taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who trusts in Him."
Hmm. I know I have a will, and I have a strong one at that. What if I use it to CHOOSE to trust instead of doubt and have anxiety when a situation comes up?
Little did I know... a situation would come up that very day.
It was a busy day, maybe even considered on the stressful side. A little after my quiet time with the Lord, I left for my work shift - the last. The last? You bet! The last at my retail job before I left two days later for another five month adventure with YWAM {Youth With A Mission}.
On my first break, I checked my messages to find one informing me that I needed $2600 out of $3595 to be able to go to the School of Evangelism (SOE) that I planned to attend in two days.
I was speechless. How in the world would I raise that much funding in less than 2 days?!?!
Sounds kind of impossible - #amiright?
My mind immediately wanted and started going into “anxiety” mode. It’s like there is a trained pathway in our brains - and those pathways that are negative processing (like anxiety) need reprogramming basically.
Remember my amazing quiet time on trust vs. anxiety? Yeah. It came to mind pretty much immediately, and I stopped short. *screech of the brakes*
Wait a minute! Hadn’t I been thinking about making CONSCIOUS decisions to choose to TRUST instead of doubt and worry? Here was one of these moments!
I instantly started choosing to change my thought process. Trust over anxiety. I went back to work praying constantly.
“Lord, how am I going to do this?! I know You work incredible miracles. This right here is going to need YOU to move. I’ve done everything I can. I’m leaving this completely up to you. If I should go, bring in the funds and show me if there is something I can do. If I shouldn’t go, make that clear and show me the way.”
I left work with a bit of a heavy heart, wondering and praying and realizing it would be a long while before I ever saw anyone there again.
I left, and on my forty minute drive home poured out all of the words that had been silently said in my head, expressing the thoughts and emotions that were bursting within my heart. I talked to Jesus and then realized . . . He knows what He's doing.
You know, that evening after I had given over everything, after I had surrendered and acknowledged that He could provide and would bring good no matter what happened, I was able to lay down my ideas and my worries at His feet and just rely on Him and be still.
I went to sleep, knowing something would happen, but not knowing what would happen. I was anticipating something. But what? Something. Something that the Lord had for me. I knew He would come through and bring clarity.
PART ONE /// The Miracle that Changed Everything ~ by Christy Anne ** PART TWO Coming Soon
Truth sets us free and awakens us to amazing possibilities with God! YWAM Tyler offers many schools throughout the year to learn and grow in the Truth of Jesus Christ. If you're longing to be free from anxiety and worry and want to learn more about how Jesus can make a difference in these areas of your life, Discipleship Training School (DTS) and School of Evangelism (SOE) are great avenues for discovering Truth!
