It is well with my soul . . . Really?
I’ve heard these words many times. Something about them stands out to me, but can I say it is well with my soul and really believe it is? Loving God is one thing, but living with Him fully enthroned can be difficult sometimes because it's not about me anymore.
It’s hard; I desire. I fear. I feel.
I’ve learned a lot as a student at YWAM Tyler when I did my discipleship training schools, and I’ve also learned a lot as a full time missionary at YWAM Tyler. During a challenging time of trial, error, sacrifice, and struggle, I found myself wrestling. Making a choice, surrendering something, following God, trusting Him ~ it wasn’t as easy as it sounded. It was a testing time for sure. As a result, fear and anxiety kept knocking at my heart's door. I found myself having lots of negative thoughts too, which made it even harder and confusing.
Thankfully, God didn’t leave me in this place. Sometimes when walking through a difficult time, our natural tendency is to magnify the issue and struggle. In doing so, we end up minimizing God, His truth, and the hope we have in Him. For me, a small rock was turning into a big mountain that seemed impossible to get over. It was crucial I minimize the mountain and look to Jesus. Just because the mountain was present and even getting the best of me at times, that didn’t change who I was in Christ. It didn’t make me disqualified; it didn’t make Him walk away from me. His call and love never changed. Because of this truth, even in the hardships, I realized I was safe.
I didn’t need to fear that I’d messed up too much or that He didn’t want me anymore. This isn’t in the realm of possibility with God. God has been trying to get me to understand this for a long time now. I’ve struggled with believing it, but God never quits. He passionately keeps pursuing me, and I’m thankful.
God knows my heart and my inner most being. He is present in my life even when I’m not doing okay or when Satan is doing all he can to pull me away. God is still present even when I mess up! It IS well with my soul because I AM God’s. This truth doesn’t disappear when I sin or when I think wrongly or am going through a trying time. I’m not disqualified. I am bought by the Blood of Christ!
No matter what you're going through, don't condemn yourself to the point where you think God’s love has changed for you or that you're not worthy anymore. Step back, take a deep breath, and know the Lover of your soul will never leave you or forsake you.
So now the case is closed. There remains no accusing voice of condemnation against those who are joined in life-union with Jesus, the Anointed One. For the “law” of the Spirit of life flowing through the anointing of Jesus has liberated us from the “law” of sin and death . . . And we are free to live, not according to our flesh, but by the dynamic power of the Holy Spirit! (Romans 8:1-4 TPT)
Truth sets us free! If you’re questioning if you've been disqualified because of a past failure, I encourage you to come to YWAM Tyler and do a Discipleship Training School (DTS). Get to know God and discover His heart for you! He's definitely not walked away from you. Experience freedom in a way that will forever change your life.