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The searing heat is awful, and my dry throat longs for water; unfortunately, I left my water bottle in the van. It’s Friday morning; two days before I am to go home. The Texas sun is relentlessly beating down on me. Each step I take makes my glasses slide further down my nose, and my feet ache. Sweat beads start to pool on my skin, causing the dust to stick to me. The piercing honks of the passing cars startle me. I really wish I was anywhere else but here. Yet up ahead, I see my friends turn around and start another lap. If they can keep walking, I can too.

We are marching around Planned Parenthood, an abortion clinic, and praying; we call it a prayer-walk. As I make another lap around the grassy premises, I hear the still small voice God so often uses. At the sound of His steady voice, the aching in my feet goes away. I turn my attention from my sweat to His heart. Suddenly, images of my biological mother jump into my mind. I remember what my adoptive parents had told me. My birth mom was pregnant with me and single. She’d scheduled an appointment to have an abortion. The night before the appointment, a missionary friend just happened to bump into her, and after listening to her fearful plea, he convinced her to let me live.

Slowly, tears start falling from my cheeks. God continues to gently speak to me. “She felt scared and alone. But then, I gave her courage, and I was with her. I was with both of you. She was so brave and selfless, Audrey, to have you.” Wow! I can hardly believe what I just heard. Then surprise turns to peace as the tears continue to flow.

The team and I pile into the four white vans, but I’m still crying and listening intently to God. He continues to speak to me, “Audrey. I’ve revealed much to you today. I want you to share this with the team.”

I’m not one to speak in front of a large crowd, especially about something as personal as this. Yet I find myself answering, “I’ll do whatever You tell me to do, Lord. Just give me the courage.”

It’s Friday night, our last night in Houston. The whole SST team is sitting together for our final debriefing. Our leader asks if anybody has a testimony about our prayer-walk around Planned Parenthood. Everybody is looking around. I raise my hand.

“Yes, Audrey?” Fifty people turn to look at me and wait expectantly. My heart starts beating faster. Am I going to cry? “Lord, please, I don’t want to cry again!” Careful to not make eye contact with anyone, I manage to relate the whole tale with a shaky voice. I can hear a few murmurs from my fellow friends.

I look up and give a small smile to my leaders. They smile back. “We’re so glad you’re here, Audrey!” one leader says. Everybody agrees and claps. My best friend pats my knee affectionately. I smile again and bashfully look down. I can feel His affection; He is pleased.

God worked in so many unique ways in all of us during SST, from the moment we got there to the moment we left. Memories were made, and revelations were revealed.

During my time at Planned Parenthood, I realized there is always a backstory. It’s important to think of a person’s own feelings and to put yourself in their position before judging them. If my birth mother was here right now, I’d tell her, “Thank you for being courageous. Thank you for your selflessness to have me and give me to a family. Thank you for the determination you’ve passed on to me.”

God showed me that day love conquers fear.

 

When God speaks, He changes lives. Truth brings revelation; love conquers fear. At YWAM Tyler during the fall DTS (Discipleship Training School), an elective will be offered for all who are interested in helping those whose lives are at risk. 

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Audrey Fish

Author: Audrey Fish

Audrey was born in Thailand in 2004. Adopted by American parents at three weeks old, she's been a third-culture kid all her life. She's currently a sophomore at Christian Heritage School and has aspirations to someday graduate from Baylor University. Audrey loves spicy food, making films, writing short stories, and playing sports.