Before I knew God, I drowned in dark depression, deceit, and lived in fear. Sin and suicidal thoughts controlled me, and I had no escape. I struggled to find so many things: purpose, love, peace, joy, zeal for life, and much more.
Meeting the Lord of all creation brought me out of the trap I was ensnared in and gave me life abundant. Not life without struggles, but life with hope.
After my Discipleship Training School (DTS) ended last spring, going home was difficult. It was hard to go from seeing friends everyday, worshipping and living in community to only seeing my immediate family.
Last year Jesus gave me a vision. In it I was in a packed van, full of friend's voices when I suddenly heard no more noise, and saw nothing but a wide-open field.
In the middle stood an oak tree that was magnificent, massive, strong! I felt total peace and I knew that this was a vision from God. I asked again and again what it meant, It took an entire year for Him to tell me.
When I first came into missions, I thought I might end up working with the people who lived in garbage dumps in the Philippines, thousands of miles from my home.
When I said yes to God, that’s what I thought He would have me do.
There is a global prayer movement afoot. God's people are interacting with each other like never before as they share needs, concerns, and victories.
It was a huge shock to everyone around me when I decided to become a missionary in 2016. Having come out of 6 years of deep addiction before entering 3 rehabs, I was the last person you’d expect to see joining Youth With A Mission, Tyler.
I was totally living for myself. I thought I was the center of the universe back in May of 2015 before I entered my last rehab. I finally came to a point of surrender about four weeks into that program, when I felt God’s love for me for the first time. It was game-over after that! I was hooked.
Prior to that encounter, I was so consumed with myself I did not ever really love, or allow myself to be loved. Everyone and everything around me was a resource to get whatever I was looking to gain in the moment.
My self-absorbed life stifled love from every crevice and corner of my life.
[Photo: I know right? A mug shot. That's how bad my life had spun out of control.]
However, there was a moment which changed everything for me. A true encounter with God can accomplish what one hundred counseling sessions could not. Something changed when I allowed myself to be stripped before God. No mask, no presuppositions, just a real, vulnerable openness to Jesus as my Savior.
[Photo: Graduating from Shiloh Ministries after 1 year of rehab.]
After I graduated from Shiloh, I joined my first Discipleship Training School at YWAM Tyler. Youth With A Mission understands knowing God is paramount. Understanding I am His child is vital. Everything else hinges on this realization.
I believe, “you don’t really know yourself until you know Jesus.” Through my discipleship experience, I finally understood, “in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) is a remarkably freeing statement.
While I was still self-centered, caring for no one, stealing, and lying–Jesus died for me! I love Jesus now and do my best to genuinely love the people around me, but Jesus died for the version of me who cared neither for myself, or the people around me.
Whether I am still roaming the streets with a pint of vodka in my belt strap, or I am preaching in front of thousands, Jesus’s love for me is the same! It never changes.
Knowing God, really knowing Him is what life is all about. “And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and the one whom you have sent.” (John 17:3) Each time I read this verse it chips away at the block of religion that has crusted up around me through years of never actually encountering and pursuing God for myself.
To know God, and to make Him known. This is the motto of Youth With A Mission. I love the simplicity of this, because when you boil it all down, it is what life is really all about.
Now do we just spend our time alone in a room, with a Bible and a cup of coffee? Heavens no! James says, “Show me your faith apart from your works, and I’ll show you my faith by my works.” (James 2:18). Such a confident statement that my personality appreciates!
I love being active, pursuing, and creating alongside God for His name’s sake. Prior to coming to YWAM Tyler, I thought all missionaries were old, white, married couples. I thought a missionary wife wore a bonnet (no slight to bonnet wearers!) and the husband had spent years in seminary and pastoral training. The thought of becoming a missionary wasn’t in the solar system of my thought process, but boy did that change after coming to YWAM Tyler.
My understanding of being a missionary changed when I ran into a former X-Games athlete, met men and women who had struggled with addiction, eating disorders, vanity, homosexuality, been through a divorce, and the list could go on. These people were seasoned missionaries who had been around the world several times over, impacting lives every step of the way, yet had a life transformation with Jesus!
This was me too! I was just like these people!? “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.” (1 Corinthians 1:27)
[Photo: Making God known took me to Korea with my Discipleship Training School.]
Out of an overflow of intimacy with a living God our life begins to move. A true faith—a living faith—has the natural outworking of good works. To Know God and Make Him Known. This really sums up how I became a missionary.
If you are ready to take the next step in your personal life of Knowing God and Making Him known, today is the day to sign up for the next training school at YWAM Tyler. We are here and ready to help you discover God's purpose for your life.
Other blogs by Anthony:
E neste fim de semana se fechou um ciclo, uma etapa da minha vida em que várias pessoas fizeram partes, muitos não estão nessa foto, mas estiveram fazendo parte de fora, sempre me apoiando e encorajando mesmo que de longe.
When you’re a little kid, someone always questions, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" There’s the popular options of firefighter, policeman, or cook, but for me it was a forensic scientist. It wasn't a popular choice amongst young people, but I always knew what I wanted to be. After graduating high school, I went to college at Sam Houston State University in the fall of 2018, full of dreams and plans for the next four years of my life.
Do you ever wake up and forget where you are?
This happens to me often, particularly when I find myself doing crazy things, things I never thought I would have the time, finances, or abilities to do. I'll think, “What am I doing here?” “How did I get here...ME...here doing this right now?!?”
GOD IS SO GOOD...Isn’t He? 😁 Since graduation, I had been praying about where God wanted me to go for college. After a few mission trips, God spoke to me about an organization called Youth With a Mission (YWAM). I arrived in January to begin a Discipleship Training School (DTS) here at YWAM Tyler, and it has rocked my world!
So many times I didn't think we could do a YWAM Discipleship Training School (DTS) as a family. We have made a lot of mistakes as parents; we didn't grow up in a church; we were rough around the edges, and my children still had a long ways to go. What would people think? Would they judge us because of our past? Would they pick apart our parenting and our children? Would they expect us to be perfect? Oh how the enemy had a field day with these thoughts.
My passion for supporting the Inspire Worship and Missions Conference at YWAM Tyler year after year originally came from my passion for worship. Worship has been my driving force for missions and my greatest joy.
